Finding Peace in a Season of Change

Written by Ridgely Chapman, LCMHCA

The holiday season, whether it be celebrating Hanukkah, Christmas, or Kwanza, often paints a picture of togetherness, joy, and tradition. Yet, for many of us, the lights of celebration can cast long shadows, especially when navigating the grief and loss associated with the death of a loved one, divorce, separation, illness, job loss, or a significant adjustment to family dynamics or living environment. The changing of routines, an empty chair at a table, and the absence of shared traditions and laughter can make this time of year challenging. Grief does not take a vacation during the holidays or other significant milestones such as weddings, graduations, births, or anniversaries. It is often amplified. We need to acknowledge that the holiday spirit or the celebration of milestones doesn’t erase emotional pain, yet it can create a wide range of emotions. We may find ourselves on a rollercoaster of sadness, happiness, joy, longing, nostalgia, loneliness, numbness, anger, and peace. During this season, give yourself the grace and permission to feel your feelings, despite societal expectations. Suppressing these feelings often prolongs the healing process. 

All of us here at the Center for Creativity and Healing understand the difficulty of the holiday season when navigating grief and loss. With this understanding, we would like to help you find moments of peace within this season of change. Below are a few ways we have found helpful for navigating the holiday season with self-compassion and grace. 

Set Boundaries and Expectations

The pressure to be happy and cheerful can be overwhelming. Communicate openly and honestly with family and friends about your emotional capacity. Encourage others, such as children, to express their emotional experiences as well.  Also, allow yourself to feel guilty if you do feel joy or happiness. Permit yourself to: 

• Say “no” gracefully

• Leave early 

• Be realistic about the fact that this year may look and feel different. 

• Set clear boundaries 

Reimagine Traditions, Don’t Abandon Them

The loss of a loved one, divorce, separation, or job loss may mean losing certain holiday traditions. While the first instinct might be to replace everything as it was, this can often heighten the feelings of loss. Instead, maybe consider getting creative and reimagining the traditions.

• Modify old traditions: Keep the essence, but change the setting or timing. 

• Create new traditions: craft something entirely new through creativity and meaning-making.

Prioritize Self-Care

Grief can feel exhausting. During the holiday season, which sometimes creates stress whether you are experiencing grief or not, this double up can feel compounded. Ensure you take care of your basic needs.

• Allow yourself to rest.

• Nourish yourself with healthy meals (graze if eating feels difficult).

• Move your body, simple walks can provide exercise, calm, and decrease feelings of anxiety. 

Allow Space for Remembrance

Ignoring or trying to forget the person, ideal, tradition, or family dynamic often will compound feelings of pain. Finding healthy ways to remember positive memories while adjusting and making meaning and new memories can bring some sense of comfort. Do they live on in the traditions and spirit of the holidays? Do we carry with us family values and traditions even if we adapt them and they look different? Can connection to others still be at the core? 

• Share a favorite memory.

• Connect with others through the sharing of memories and rituals.

• Remembrance doesn’t always have to be accompanied by sadness; it can also bring laughter and joy. 

Finding moments of peace in a season of change is possible. The healing process from grief and loss looks different for each individual, yet universally, we all experience it. You are not alone. During the holiday season, we are often reminded that grief healing is not linear. Be gentle and patient with yourself. We hope you will find moments of peace during this 2025 holiday season.

From all of us at the Center for Creativity and Healing, we wish you a peaceful path forward during the holiday season.